Chris Jericho (RAW) - Jericho just returned to RAW after an almost two year absence, an absence that was quite literally kicked off by Randy Orton punting him in the head (word play). Since his return he's been showing off an AWESOME new light up jacket (it lights up!) and not saying much of anything, just soaking in the fans' adulation and coming close to tears by the emotion of it all. But Jericho is a master manipulator, and his return - true to form - was precipitated by a series of strange videos. These videos referenced a woman who would call Jericho back on some sort of almost holy mission. No idea who this woman is or what her purpose is yet, though some think 'she' may be a metaphor for the siren song of the title herself. Jericho is the first ever Undisputed Champion in WWE history (holding the WWF and WCW titles simultaneously), by way of beating The Rock and Steve Austin in the same night. Whether as Y2J, the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah, or simply Chris Jericho, this is one of the all time greats and chances are it won't be long before Jericho is back in the title picture. He's never won a Royal Rumble before - a victory celebration sounds like a great way to break the silence, right? 
Christian (Smackdown) - After finally winning the big one this year after a 15 year career and then losing it in a tremendous feud with Randy Orton, Captain Charisma is after 'One More Match' for the World Heavyweight Championship. The only problem with that is that he's already had like twelve and lost - but never let a little thing like "the truth" get in the way of The Instant Classic. He's out on the shelf now, but it won't be long until Christian is back on the scene whining, complaining, manipulating, and generally being an awesome dick that you love to hate.
CM Punk (RAW) - The Straight Edge Savior. The Second City Saint. The Voice of the Voiceless. The WWE champion. Chicago's favorite son CM Punk changed the course of the WWE this summer when he declared that he would win the WWE title on his last night with the company and keep it, threatening to take Vince McMahon's ball and go home. He took out John Cena and cut a SCATHING promo sitting indian style on the stage, where he declared himself the best in the world and explicitly stated that the WWE would be better once Vince McMahon was dead, except for the fact that Vince's son in law HHH would take over. Then he made good on his promise, beat Cena for the title in his home town of Chicago, blew Vinnie Mac a kiss and ran off through the crowd. This is better known as The Summer of Punk (II). You can check out an AWESOME video chronicling the whole story as a Mash Up with Dr. Impossible's Sing Along Blog Below.He came back two weeks later because he decided he couldn't lead a revolution from the sidelines and became a thorn in every authority figure's side, as well as the leading proponent of ice cream bars in the world. Now once again the champion, CM Punk is trying to get Johnny Ace thrown out of power as the Interim GM of Raw - all while Ace is trying to get the title off of Punk.
He doesn't drink. He doesn't smoke. He doesn't do drugs. All he does is drop pipe bombs with his microphone, and make suckers Go To Sleep. Because for CM Punk, his only addiction is competition.
Cody Rhodes (Smackdown) - The current Intercontinental Champion is the son of Hall of Famer Dusty Rhodes and the brother of Goldust. Cody has just declared his intention to pull an Ultimate Warrior. No, not to burn out in a wave of steroids and insanity, but to hold the IC and World titles at the same time. After a period of giving out grooming tips and loving himself in the mirror, Cody had his nose busted by Rey Mysterio. When he came back he claimed to be the victim of horrible facial disfigurement, but the damage was much more psychological than physical, with Cody donning a translucent face mask and becoming wrestling's version of Dr. Doom. Losing the mask after his former mentor Randy Orton cracked him upside the skull with it, Cody has since adopted Randy's old MO for making a name for himself - targeting older legends to beat on. He picked Smackdown announcer Booker T, which has also put him at odds with his own brother - Booker's former tag partner Goldust.
Curt Hawkins (RAW) - Poor Curt Hawkins. A one time Tag Team Champion when he was riding Edge's coat tails as one of The Edge Heads, his current situation is not nearly so prestigious. While his former partner Zack Ryder managed to harness the internet for a career resurrection, Hawkins bought himself a coat and a pimp stick and wrestles in low card tag matches teaming with Tyler Reks. Recently they engaged in a prank war with Yoshi Tatsu and Trent Barreta - not quite title competition. I bet you can guess what's up next...
No comments:
Post a Comment