An In Story Introduction to the WWE Roster for the First Time Viewer - Part 2

Part 2! (You can read part 1 here)

Beth Phoenix (RAW) - The Diva's Champion. The Glamazon. One half of Pinup Strong. One half of the Divas of Doom (with Natalya). Beth Phoenix is one bad-ass woman and you can tell because she comes the ring in Wonder Woman inspired gear, right down to the tiara and battle skirt. Blonde, buff, and ready to beat you down, she's only a villain because she knows she's right.

The Big Show (Smackdown) - Billed as the largest athlete in the world, weighing in at over 300 lbs and at 7 feet tall, this TBS isn't a super station but the closest we get to a super human. A lovable giant with a terrible temper, TBS just came back from injury at the hands of Mark Henry and his Hall of Pain. Since then he's been out for revenge, the World title, and encouraging little buddy Daniel Bryan to cash in his Money In The Bank briefcase (a guaranteed title shot whenever you want it) on Mark Henry when he was down and out, instead of waiting until Wrestlemania like Bryan promised. Instead Big Show FINALLY beat Henry for the World title, his first in 9 years, only for Daniel Bryan to cash in on HIM instead - losing the belt and leaving him with the embarrassing record for shortest World Title reign in history. Looks like Big Show may have created his own monster, as it starting to seem that the formerly nice guy Bryan will do anything to keep the gold - and we all remember how David vs. Goliath actually ended.

Booker T (Smackdown) - A legend in the ring, a former 5 time WCW champion, King of the Ring, and World Heavyweight Champion, Booker T is now the most ridiculous announcer on television. He sometimes appears to be making up his own language right there in the booth because what he's saying is often clearly not English. He's not very good at it, but his enthusiasm in infectious and the man invented yelling "Shucky Ducky Quack Quack" when an attractive woman walks by, so I owe him a lot. Recently he's stepped back in the ring to try and beat some respect into the Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes, who had a bad habit of brutally beating Booker from behind to show him that his career ought to be over. Booker is best buds with Cody's brother Goldust (they were former tag champs together) and so far Goldie is taking Booker's side of things. After losing to Rhodes recently will Booker be hanging up his boots for good, or will we see him back in the ring again soon?

Brie Bella (RAW) - One half of the Bella Twins with her sister Nikki, a pair of attractive twin sisters who (allegedly) wrestle, so you can see how the concept sells itself. They tend to use 'Twin Magic' to win, which is just a polite name for 'cheating liberally' by switching places when the ref is distracted. You would think they'd put a stamp on one of their hands at the top of the match at this point, given this strategy is so common it has an actual name, but what do I know. Brie debuted first and tends to be the one who actually wins more. Right now she and her sister are crushing hard on Alberto Del Rio.

Brodus Clay (RAW) - Somebody call his Momma! After months of Interim Raw General Manager John Laurinaitis promising that Brodus Clay would debut (no seriously, for MONTHS they'd be like 'next week - Brodus!' and then Johnny Ace would be like 'It's raining! Postpone the debut!') and videos hyping him to look like a monster, Brodus FINALLY made his official Raw debut last week. It was not what we expected. Hailing from Planet Funk, the Funkasauras Rex came down to the ring with two dancers, a gyrating soul routine, and birthday candle sparkler pyro coming from the turnbuckles. He then proceeded to literally squash poor Curt Hawkins while providing his own running commentary. In other words, this dude is AWESOME. A big man with some juke and jive, Brodus used to be Alberto Del Rio's bodyguard - but clearly he's his own man now.

You can check out this momentous event below. And believe me, you should.

Somebody call my Momma, we'll be back for more!