Thoughts After Reading a Day's Worth of Classic Avengers Comics

After seeing all five Avengers solo prequels (Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, IM2, Thor, Captain America) and then the midnight showing of Avengers itself in one giant marathon at the theater, I left overjoyed and thrilled. This was an AVENGERS movie. 15 years ago, that was an unthinkable concept and now it's (possibly) the best Super-Hero movie ever made. Seeing them create the Marvel Universe on screen was a tremendously gratifying, once in a lifetime kind of experience, and watching all six in a row really made Avengers feel like a culmination as they paid off plot threads from each preceding film. I left feeling utterly nostalgic and decided to go home and read all the classic Avengers comics in my collection, most of which I had never read before. These were all from the first Volume, so before the Busiek/Perez Heroes Return renaissance that launched Avengers to the top of the charts for its only time until Bendis redefined the Franchise.

After a full day of reading a giant pile of Avengers issues amassed over the years, this is what I learned:

1. Man howdy, the Avengers do not have a legacy of great comics.

I went through a cross section of about 50 issues in the first volume, between issue #150 and #391 and they ranged primarily from mediocre to pure dreck. When you feel like you have to power through that many issues just to say you've read them, you are not reading good comics. They were rough.

2. Iconic covers do not make iconic issues. 

This is an incredibly famous (and Awesome) cover.

What an incredible cover with such a bold mission statement - "See these two tremendously underpowered Avengers? They are gonna nail it!" I want to BUY this comic.

But then as an issue? Meh. They fight Taskmaster. They win. There's not much there. Grant Morrison does a much better job actually doing something cool with this amazing set up in his JLA homage during the 90s that sees Green Arrow and The Atom team up to take down Darkseid. Now THAT is an amazing moment.

 Um. Awesome.

 The Avengers issue basically serves to show why Scott Lang absolutely deserved to lose custody rights over Cassie, after he drops her off on a roller coaster ride and abandons her for hours to go fight evil carnies. Which sounds a LOT better than it plays out.

That's a pretty indicative statement of most of these issues, sadly.

3. Those Character boxes on the right will tell you literally who is in this issue.

In the X-Men, those classic 'roster boxes' on the upper left serve as a good indication of who is in the active lineup at that time, but you might see any combination thereof. In Avengers, it will tell you literally who will be appearing, as they change issue to issue with frightening accuracy. It wasn't until #342 that the faces on the cover did not EXACTLY match the characters in the issue. That is an impressive attention to detail given how many times the roster changes.
And oh man...

4. Wow, does that Roster change a lot, and are these characters Bland as Heck.

Somewhere along the way Cap made a rule that there could only be six active Avengers on duty at any time (and anyone currently reading Avengers vs. X-Men is doing a spit take at that concept while watching 47 Avengers jump off a Helicarrier). And literally, every ten issues, it is six different people. And so every ten to twenty issues the exact same plots repeat:
- Someone leaves.
- Someone joins.
- Someone is hard to get along with.
- Maybe someone turns evil for a bit, or has a breakdown. (Hank Pym, Tony Stark, and Vision all get bad and get better).

There are almost no compelling subplots. Or character arcs. The closest we get is Tony is randomly a raging alcoholic out of NOWHERE, and Cap broods about it for a few issues. No set up. No follow up. They just show up one day (he's in the issue 2 or 3 issues before totally fine) cause he calls to quite and he is SCHWASTED in the afternoon and Rhodey is IM now. There are a few other minor character arcs, like Vision going crazy, but mostly it's all who's in, who's out, villain of the arc.

Which would be okay, except almost all the characters are EXTRAORDINARILY dull. Someone like Starfox became really interesting to me if only because he had a personality. We are just not treated to a lot of compelling dialogue and characterization in these issues. It's all plot, all the time.
Hope you like exposition.

Also, people call each other 'jerk' a lot.

4. Walt Simonson is AWESOME.

I know Roger Stern had a long and distinguished run on the title and a lot of this assortment comes from his pen. But my collection cuts off just as we're about to start his incredibly famous and well received 'Under Siege' story, and the rest of his issues are tremendously dull. I have one Simonson issue and the difference is apparent from the first page. We have a female version of Kang traveling to an alternate future filled with gigantic robot dinosaurs called Dinodroids so she can snag the Mechanisaurus Rex (real name) to face down Thor in the present. We have a secret society of Kangs including 'Kang Kong.' We've got Thor respecting Mechanisaurus Rex as a worthy warrior and challenging it to a battle to the death, while it "Skrees!" like a real boy. And most amazingly the Black Knight, who is turning into an immovable version of his Ebony Blade, jumping headfirst out a Quinjet slicing the Dinodroid down the middle with his own body while screaming "What's happening to Meeeeee!?"

That is BAT-SHIT INSANE and AMAZING. This is why I read comics, not to figure out who's going to be chairman or listen to Wasp lecture Hercules/Namor/Starfox/Insert Name Here on the importance of following orders.

6. No one involved in "The Crossing" had any idea what the hell was happening.

What was going on here? Good lord.

7. All hope is not lost.

Despite all this, the Avengers do have a lot of highlights not represented in this post. "Even an Android can Cry" is a seminal moment in Marvel History. The Kree/Skrull War, Korvac Saga, and Under Siege are all stories that are still referred to as classics today. The Hank Pym breakdown is THE defining moment of that character, and one of Superhero Comics' only long term attempts to look at a couple trying to reclaim a relationship and trust after a total mental breakdown and domestic abuse, and does not shy away from the lingering affects. This is not indicative of the ENTIRE run.


But overall, Avengers Volume 1 is not what I would recommend for a fan who's just seen the movie and loved every second. You will be sad. I say start at Kurt Busiek's run in the '90s. It has great art, a classic lineup including Cap, Thor, Iron Man, and Hawkeye, and a more modern sensibility - with some lovely character arcs for a lot of the main cast. It also leads into Ultron Unlimited - one of the best Avengers stories EVER and contains one of my favorite moments in all of comic history.
You'll know it when you see it.

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Up next I do the same thing for my Hulk back issues, with hopefully better results.

Wonder Woman: Man Version

After I wrote that title it occurred to me that I should probably clear up right away: this isn't about Wonder Man.

Nope, this one is about Marvel's second-longest running heroic deity. The God of Heroes, the Incredible Hercules.

Ladies.

Jason recently wrote about the launch of the new Wonder Woman series, depicting the Amazonian in kind of a mythological urban horror story. Well over in the Marvel Universe, things are working in reverse. Instead of a woman, their Greek deity is a man, and he's been starring in a mythological urban comedy which is being cancelled right at its peak.

Hercules was introduced into the Marvel Universe back in 1965 with the same title in which Thor made his debut, Journey into Mystery Annual #1. Whereas Thor was regal, noble, and refined, Herc was brash, arrogant, and never shy about showing off his god-like strength. Several times it's been shown that when he really wants to be, Hercules can be as strong as Thor or the Hulk, really only outmatched by them because Thor has lightning bolts and the Hulk is the freaking Hulk.

Pictured: The freaking Hulk.

Throughout his tenure in Marvel, Hercules has been a part of some of the biggest storylines they've ever put out. Since his first appearance, he's been both rival and ally to Thor, a member of the Avengers, the Champions, the Heroes for Hire, and the star of several of his own mini-series about his adventures in outer space. When Atlantis attacked, Herc was there. When Korvac had his saga, Herc was there. When the heroes had their Civil War, Herc played a major role both in saving the entire resistance movement from a Tony Stark ambush and in defeating the clone of Thor, Ragnarok. And when the whole universe was being destroyed by the Chaos King, Hercules was the one hero who stood in the breach and saved all of space and time.

Cool story, Herc.

Also, in the midst of all that, he found the time to sleep with just about every available lady Marvel had to offer.

Not pictured: She-Hulk, Thundra (I think), and probably Tigra.

During the events of World War Hulk, when Hercules was one of the only heroes to say, "Wow, tricking the Hulk onto a spaceship and launching him to an unknown planet was kind of a dick move," the Hulk's own title got shifted to Herc, making The Incredible Hercules the Olympian's first ongoing. Teaming him with super-genius kid Amadeus Cho, Herc revealed a side of him seen all-too-infrequently; the fact that he is both incredibly strong and incredibly hilarious.

For the sake of brevity, let me focus just on what we're missing out on now that his new solo title, Herc, has fallen off of Marvel's chopping block.

- A depowered Hercules fighting crime in Brooklyn using Peleus's sword, the Aegis shield, and Perseus's helmet of invisibility.
- Super-villains Basilisk, Man-Bull, and The Griffon thrown in as bumbling yet well-meaning supporting cast.
- Herc working as a bouncer in a Greek bar while he sleeps with the owner's daughter.
- A Spider-Herc getting it on with Arachne while a webbed-up team of X-Men are forced to watch.
- A depowered, drunk, and overweight Zeus coming to live with Herc, and then relentlessly hitting on Elektra despite her repeatedly beating the crap out of him. After returning to his full glory and having Herc turn down having his godhood restored, Zeus figures he's doing it to impress Elektra, and tells him, "Go get her, son."

Now that's all gone.

This wasn't cool enough for Marvel.

Herc ended with #10 at the conclusion of the Elektra/Zeus story. It fell victim to the same series of cuts which just ended Ghost Rider, X-23, Daken: Dark Wolverine, Black Panther: The Most Dangerous Man Alive, Iron Man 2.0, Alpha Flight, Moon Knight, and PunisherMAX. Marvel is gearing up for a universe where every title has "Avengers," "Spider-" or "X" on the cover, and Herc's sales didn't justify it being an exception.

Which is a shame, especially in this case. The last series, Incredible Hercules, had some very poignant moments as Herc traveled across America with Amadeus and his sister Athena. First amongst his tasks was convincing the young and angry Amadeus not to use his genius for evil or revenge, revealing a terrible secret from his own past about how being reckless with his own strength cost him dearly in the past. Another moment was when being confronted by his brother Ares, the God of War shouted in fury that he was pinnacle of godly perfection and Hercules was a drunken, loud-mouthed boor, "so why do they love YOU?"

"No matter how many millions I kill, they just won't warm up to me!"

Herc, after getting over shock about that being the reason Ares hounds him so much, replies, basically, that, "Perhaps it is because I am flawed, but I strive to be more. Perhaps it is because in me, they see themselves."

And that's the basic appeal of Hercules as opposed to Thor; Thor is the perfect hero. Maybe even more so than Captain America. Thor represents not just the best in all men, but the best in all gods, too. He is an untouchable standard, for even though Cap has a basic morality and goodness which no mortal can touch, Thor is the same thing except for millennia-old immortals with unfathomable power. Hercules is different. He's essentially just a mortal man thrust into this realm of divinity, dealing with it as a mortal would. He drinks, he fights, he sleeps around a lot, and when he's not doing that, he stands up for the little guy because he knows that's the right thing to do.

Thor's not a little guy.

Incredible Hercules focused primarily on Herc and Amadeus traveling across America, sharing their woes with women, eating pizza, and having adventures while relating their modern-day exploits to the classic tales of Hercules from mythology. With Herc, they abandoned the divine aspects of Hercules's character, and instead put him in Brooklyn to contend with magical and mythological foes without his powers, but with the same humor and wit he displayed in Incredible Hercules. It delved into the character in ways we'd never really gotten to explore before.

He was always kind of one-dimensional when portrayed in Avengers, portrayed as an arrogant strongman and barely suitable replacement for the oft-absent God of Thunder. There's even an issue where they unveil a statue of the Avengers with Thor standing tall, and Hercules laments being the "token god."

The statue he wanted looked like this, only with Thor crying.

With Incredible Hercules and Herc, we got to see the classic character stripped of the stereotypes writers had assigned him with over the years and watch him shine as a hero in his own right. Now the sun's setting on that, and whatever other fantastic tales were in store for Hercules, we'll have to wait to read until he pops up as a guest-star in some Avengers title, where he'll probably be portrayed as a drunken, loud-mouthed womanizer - which he IS - but without the humor and humanizing aspects which proved this character can be great.

So long, Hercules, and thanks for all the Gifts.





If you like reading David write about comic books, you might also enjoy his writing about video games over on The Backlog.